


My Boyfriend's Cat From Hell

by driftingskies237



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Comedy, Dating, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Frustrated Arthur Pendragon, Humor, M/M, Making Out, Merlin's Cat Hates Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driftingskies237/pseuds/driftingskies237
Summary: Merlin is the perfect boyfriend. Almost. If only it weren't for his demon cat Kilgharrah who hates Arthur's guts for no reason.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 283





	My Boyfriend's Cat From Hell

Arthur loves almost everything about Merlin. His cheesy smile, rambunctious laughter, the way his nose scrunches up when he’s confused. His messiness, his dorky t-shirts, the way he always burns his toast. Arthur loves his big ears that Merlin is so self-conscious about. He loves how Merlin talks with his hands, especially when he gets excited, even if it results in Merlin accidentally smacking Arthur in the face. And Merlin’s constant clumsiness is endearing to no end, watching him stumble around like a baby deer. His big heart, his overwhelming kindness, his strange obsessions. There’s a lot of things Arthur loves about Merlin. 

Then there’s Kilgharrah.

Kilgharrah is Merlin’s cat that Arthur is convinced came straight from hell itself just to torment Arthur. He’s the ugliest beat Arthur has ever seen, a mangled tabby cat with beady eyes and the corner of his ear ripped. Not to mention, Kilgharrah is huge, probably the biggest cat that Arthur has ever seen. Merlin found him on the street as a stray and fell in love at first sight. Arthur has no clue how Merlin could see that cat and fall in love, but he did. 

When Arthur first started dating Merlin, he heard so many tales about Kilgharrah. “Arthur, he’s _such_ a sweetheart!” “Kilgharrah is so smart.” And contrary to what some people may believe about him, Arthur loves cats. Cats love him, and he loves them; therefore, first meeting Kilgharrah wasn’t something he was nervous about. 

Back then, he and Merlin were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, fawning over each other and giggling constantly as they battled for affection. The teasing and flirting was relentless, and every time Arthur was with Merlin he felt giddy. They had been dating for about a month before Arthur went to Merlin’s flat for the first time. 

Kilgharrah was apparently off napping somewhere when Arthur arrived. Everything was fine at first. The two of them cuddled up on the couch and watched some crap TV for awhile until getting lost in each other. Soon, they were making out, the noise from the TV still in the background. 

Luckily, Merlin lived alone in his tiny flat, so they didn’t have to worry about any unannounced visitors. They panted into each other’s mouths, tongues sliding between open lips. Soon, their shirts came flying off. Arthur suckled at a spot below Merlin’s ear that makes him gasp, tugging the small strands of Arthur’s hair at the nape of his neck. Arthur was just sliding off his pants, their mouths slick with spit, when Kilgharrah sauntered into the room like he owned the place. 

He spotted Arthur instantly, just as Arthur is sliding the pants off his hips. Suddenly, Kilgharrah let out the most awful screeching noise that Arthur has ever heard. He and Merlin disconnected at the sound, Merlin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Before Arthur could even greet Kilgharrah, though, the large cat pounced on him, claws and teeth bared. Merlin gasped in surprise, shouting out, “ _Gharrah_!”, but by then it was too late. 

The demon cat launched itself right at Arthur’s bottom, sinking it’s claws into his lower legs. Arthur didn’t have a chance to do anything before Kilgharrah is biting painfully into the bottom of his arse. 

“Damn it!” Arthur shrieked, “ _ **Ow**_!”

“Kilgharrah!” Merlin shouted, shooing the cat off. “Oh my god, Arthur! Are you okay?”

_“He bit my butt!”_

“I am so sorry! He’s never done anything like that before. He’s usually so sweet toward everyone. Here, come with me, I have some antiseptic in the bathroom.”

He got Arthur up after pulling his own pants back on and buttoning them up. He then led Arthur into a dimly lit bathroom, rustling through the cabinet. Kilgharrah appeared a moment later, smirking at Arthur from the doorway as he licked his paw. He looked pleased with himself. 

“You know, I pictured doing something similar to your arse tonight, but the cat beat us to it," Merlin giggled.

Arthur glared at him, not finding the situation quite as hilarious as Merlin at the moment. Before Arthur could come up with a retort, Merlin swipes at the wound on his bottom with antiseptic wash. 

“Ouch!” Arthur hissed, jerking slightly.

“Stop being a baby,” Merlin responded, moving onto the scratch marks that Kilgharrah left. “You know that I’m going to be a doctor, right? I’ve seen four year olds braver than you about this.”

“If it wasn’t for your damned demon cat--” Arthur growled. 

“He’s not a demon cat! I told you, he’s usually so sweet.”

“Oh, great, so he just has a personal vendetta against me for no reason at all.”

“Maybe you offended his honor in some way.”

“Offended his---he’s a _cat_ , Merlin!”

“Cats are very sensitive creatures, prat. And they can be very intelligent and aware. Maybe Kilgharrah could sense you didn’t like him.”

“I liked him just fine until he bit my arse!”

Kilgharrah continued to watch, amused. Arthur shot him a glare. 

By the time Merlin finished up cleaning Arthur’s wounds, they decided it’s probably best that they let Kilgharrah cool down for a bit. As an apology, Merlin walked Arthur back to his flat. Of course, Arthur was in too much pain to do anything else, so they just watched a movie for a bit. Merlin thought that maybe Kilgharrah was just in a bad mood, that it was just a one off, but they soon figured out that wasn’t the case. 

Kilgharrah absolutely despises Arthur, and Arthur feels the same way. Now, Arthur and Merlin have been dating almost 2 years, and Kilgharrah still hisses at Arthur whenever Arthur comes over. Sometimes, Arthur stays the night, and Kilgharrah always jumps up on top of their sleeping forms and yowls until Merlin brings the cat into his arms and cuddles him, while Arthur is stuck pressed against the wall alone. Merlin feels bad about it, but Arthur can also tell that he finds the whole thing extremely amusing, which makes Arthur even angrier. 

“You should move into my flat,” Arthur suggests one morning. They’ve gotten into this little routine that takes place at either Arthur’s flat or Merlin’s. It always involves Arthur waking up early to make Merlin coffee and breakfast, and Merlin helping him clean up. They chat idly while sitting together, the news on the telly playing soft in the background. That early in the morning, if they’re at Merlin’s flat, Kilgharrah is thankfully munching on breakfast far away from Arthur. This morning, they happen to be at Arthur’s however, so there will be no interruptions from that hell cat. 

“Really?” Merlin asks, swallowing his food. “I mean, do you think we’re ready for that?”

“Of course we are,” Arthur reassures him, taking his hand. “I love you, Merlin. We’re practically living together already, just switching back and forth between flats. Unless you aren’t ready.”

“No, no, I am. There’s just a lot to think about. Like who’s flat would we move into?”

“Well, no offense Merlin, but your flat is kind of a dump...”

“Hey, prat! My flat is just fine. It may need a little work, but it’s great.”

“Your shower head barely works, your oven breaks constantly, the neighbors are horrendously loud--”

“Okay, fine, you’re right. Your place is way nicer,” Merlin agrees, “But does it allow pets?”

“Pets?”

Merlin frowns, “Yeah, I mean, for Kilgharrah.”

Wait. Back up. That throws a huge wrench in Arthur’s plan. He shouldn’t have been so stupid. Of course Merlin would want to bring his demon cat with him! Kilgharrah would surely tear apart Arthur’s flat bit by bit, leaving only Merlin and his stuff intact. 

“Can’t he stay there?”

Merlin sends him an annoyed look. “Arthur, he’s **my** cat.”

“He’ll destroy this place the moment he gets in here!”

“He won’t, I promise. I wouldn’t let him. Besides, he’s getting better with you! He hasn’t scratched you for a few weeks.”

Arthur grumbles under his breath. With a sigh, Merlin gets up and goes behind the chair Arthur is sitting at. He then wrings his arms around Arthur’s chest, leaning down to trail kisses down from his cheek to the side of his neck.

“D-do you think t-this will convince me?” Arthur stutters, biting back a moan.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. Will it?”

“Tease.”

Needless to say, a few weeks later, Merlin moves into Arthur’s flat with Kilgharrah. Merlin stays true to his promise, making sure to keep Kilgharrah out of as much trouble as possible. Kilgharrah does seemed confused and a bit peeved at his new home. Arthur constantly sees him rolling around and clawing at the carpet, as if to mark his scent. Overall, though, it’s fine. As long as Merlin is there to mediate, Kilgharrah isn’t terrible. He still dislikes Arthur, but at least Arthur isn’t getting his butt bitten like before.

A few months after moving in, though, Merlin leaves to visit his mother. Swamped with work himself, Arthur can’t take the time to go with him. Plus, according to Merlin, his mother is allergic to cats, and none of his other friends are available to take care of Kilgharrah. So, as Merlin’s boyfriend, that duty falls to him. Arthur is stuck with the demon cat for an entire weekend.

Arthur tries to get out of it. He calls all of his and Merlin’s friends to see if they’ll reconsider. He even calls his annoying sister Morgana to try and con her into it, but she claims that Arthur’s just being a whiner. Somehow, the one weekend Merlin is going to be gone, everyone has an excuse. Gwen and Elyan are going to a wedding, Lancelot has to work, Percival has to work overtime, Gwaine is…Gwaine, and Leon is taking care of his sick wife. Arthur swears that Kilgharrah somehow planned this so he could get Arthur alone and torment him for three days straight.

By the time Friday rolls around, Arthur has run out of options. Merlin is rushing out the door, wanting to beat the early morning traffic. His favorite scarf is wrapped haphazardly around his neck, and he wears a beanie that Arthur gifted him. The suitcase he pulls behind him is stuffed ridiculously full for just a few days, but by now Arthur knows that Merlin likes to be prepared.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” Merlin says, pecking Arthur on the lips.

“Are you sure you don’t have room for Kilgharrah somewhere?”

“You’ll be fine,” Merlin pats his chest. “I’ll call you when I get there to make sure you two haven’t demolished the place.”

“No promises.”

With one last wave, Merlin is heading out the door. The flat is eerily quiet. Too quiet. Arthur glances around suspiciously. Nothing appears to be destroyed yet. Arthur proceeds back toward the living room with caution and lowers himself down on the sofa. Arthur breaths out a sigh of relief. Kilgharrah must still be eating or sleeping somewhere. With that, Arthur turns on the telly, intent on catching up on some of the news.

Just then, a large shadow leaps up from under the sofa. Arthur yelps, yanking his legs up and careening backward into the cushions. How the hell did that gigantic cat fit under the tiny space of the sofa?! Kilgharrah peers up at Arthur, nose raised. He then jumps up on the couch in Merlin’s usual spot, looking around.

“It’s just gonna be you and me for a while,” Arthur explains, causing the cat to glare over at him. “Please, don’t bite my butt again. Merlin will be back in a few days.”

Kilgharrah’s steeling gaze doesn’t cease, but he also doesn’t make any sudden movements; instead, the cat simply kneads a few times in place before curling up in Merlin’s spot. Arthur is still pressed to the opposite end of the sofa, afraid to make any sudden movements. Kilgharrah meows, old and haggard.

“You know, I don’t understand why you don’t like me,” Arthur ponders. “Merlin certainly likes me. Besides, I’ve never done anything to you!”

Kilgharrah appears unimpressed.

“God, what am I doing talking to a bloody cat?” Arthur mutters to himself. “This is ridiculous.”

At that moment, Kilgharrah decides that he doesn’t want to lie there. He gets up and stretches, yawn showing off his sharp fangs that Arthur is all too familiar with. Arthur stands, not wanting to wait for Kilgharrah to strike.

“There, now you have the sofa all to yourself! See, I can be nice.”

Kilgharrah blinks at him.

Arthur huffs, removing himself from that room and heading toward the bedroom where his work desk is. It’s littered with some of Merlin’s textbooks and notes for medical school. Arthur squints, attempting to read Merlin’s chicken scratch. It’s a miracle that Merlin himself can read it. Despite the mess, Arthur can’t help but smile tenderly at the thought of Merlin glowering over the textbooks for his upcoming exams before conking out at the desk, drool getting on the corner of his paper. Arthur carefully puts all of Merlin’s stuff in a neat pile on the corner of the desk to make room for his own laptop. Maybe Arthur can at least get some work done this weekend.

* * *

Thankfully, it isn’t until dinnertime that Kilgharrah bothers him again. At that point, Arthur’s eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen for so long with minimal breaks. According to Merlin, Arthur will end up needing glasses by the time he’s in his mid-thirties, a claim which Arthur vehemently refutes. Still, he can’t help but see Merlin’s point as he rubs at the bridge of his nose. Speaking of Merlin, he should be arriving in Ealdor soon. Arthur shuts his laptop and heads for the kitchen to heat up some leftovers for dinner. He also realizes that it’s time to feed the cat. Amazingly, Kilgharrah is just where Arthur left him, now snoozing on the sofa, although he appears to still be looking for Merlin.

Just then, Merlin calls him. Arthur smiles at the goofy contact photo before answering.

“Hey Merls.”

“Hi Arthur,” Merlin greets, voice surrounded by static. Ealdor doesn’t get the best cell phone connection. “Is the flat still standing?”

“Amazingly, yes,” Arthur muses, glancing over at the cat. “He’s just been sitting in your spot all day.”

Arthur can practically hear Merlin’s pout through the phone line. “Poor baby. He’s probably lonely. I haven’t left him in so long.”

“You’re gone every day for work, Merlin.”

“Well, yes, but he knows this is different! He’s not stupid.”

Arthur hums in response, choosing to pick his battles. “So, how’s your mum?”

They talk while Arthur eats. Well, Merlin is mostly the one talking. He tells Arthur all about the changes to the small town, about his best friend Will’s new girlfriend, and about his mum’s health. Hunith had a health scare recently which Arthur knows is part of the reason Merlin really wanted to get a break to go down and visit when he couldn’t earlier. Merlin can’t talk for too long, though, as he needs to help his mum with dinner. When they say goodbye, Arthur is about finished with dinner, which means it’s time to get Kilgharrah his food.

Kilgharrah eats like a king. Sometimes, Arthur wonders if he’s part wild cat due to the amount of fancy meats that he ingests. Arthur prepares his food, having watched Merlin enough times to know exactly how to do it. The smell of meat makes Kilgharrah perk up, nose twitching.

Arthur places the food bowl in its usual spot, watching as Kilgharrah jumps off the sofa and heads over, sniffing it with contempt.

“I didn’t poison it!” Arthur swears, although he was considering it.

Kilgharrah finally gives into the temptation of food, chowing down on it like he hasn’t eaten in days. The rest of the night proceeds somewhat normally. Kilgharrah likes to look out the window after dinner, while Arthur goes back to the sofa to watch some random show. Kilgharrah joins him at some point, and Arthur briefly notices that he gets a bit closer than before. Chalking it up to a coincidence, Arthur makes sure to keep a distance as he continues watching.

Arthur climbs into bed a few hours later. The bed always feels colder when Merlin isn’t there. Arthur curls up, facing toward Merlin’s side of the bed, and clutches at a pillow. He shuts his eyes and is just about to fall asleep when a large thump sounds on the bed. It’s Kilgharrah, eyes bright in the dark of the room.

“Merlin’s not here,” Arthur murmurs into his pillow. “’ts just me.”

Kilgharrah meows, sniffing a few times before climbing right on top of Arthur’s face. Arthur gasps in fur, coughing as he attempts to pull Kilgharrah off of him without making the cat too angry.

“What the hell was that?!” Arthur gasps. “Are you trying to suffocate me in my sleep?”

Kilgharrah meows again, determined not to be pushed off the bed by Arthur. This time, instead of going right for Arthur’s face, he lies down against the pillow that Arthur cradles in his arms. Arthur freezes, looking down at the cat. Does he dare try and pet the cat? Arthur reaches a hand out slowly toward his head. Kilgharrah watches him the entire time. Ever so gently, Arthur reaches forward and presses a hand into his disheveled fur. To his astonishment, Kilgharrah doesn’t move; he simply stares up at Arthur. Arthur begins scratching him, much like he would with Merlin’s dark hair. A rumbling erupts in Kilgharrah’s chest. It startles Arthur at first, making him afraid that Kilgharrah is going to attack. After a moment, though, he realizes that Kilgharrah is purring. Smiling, Arthur watches him, deciding that okay, maybe this cat is kind of cute. 

“Merlin’s never gonna believe this,” Arthur whispers in amazement.

The next morning, Arthur sends Merlin a selfie of Kilgharrah sleeping soundly on his lap, one of Arthur’s hands nestled deep in his fur. As Merlin tells him later, he was so surprised at the picture that he dropped his phone on the ground, causing it to crack. He also had to call and check to make sure that Arthur hadn’t replaced his cat, or that Arthur himself hadn’t been replaced by a lookalike.

It’s a really good thing that Kilgharrah finally approves of Arthur, too. Arthur has never been a person to believe much in superstitions, but he knows somehow that this is a sign for him to finally buy that wedding ring. 


End file.
